August 2016

Why are newborns so noisy?

Why are newborns so noisy?

Whoever said the sentence ‘Sleeping like a baby’ clearly never had one, or slept in a bedroom with one, or even a house with one.
It seems to be that there is a massive chapter missing in all the baby books, or maybe it’s just a huge big secret and someone at GCHQ will be knocking on my door next week… but I’m going to say it anyway, ready…. Newborn babies sound like truffle pigs. There, I said it. And I’m not afraid of the consequences.

It’s actually totally annoying and paranoia provoking. For those of you who are yet to produce your bundles of joy…. Here’s an insight into a common scenario across bedrooms all across the land.

The snuffly newborn has just fed, then been winded, thrown up a bit, been fed again, pooped its pants, been changed, thrown up a bit more and then fed again. Finally, the little darling has nodded off into the land of dreams.
You then have this pressure to fall asleep as quickly as humanly possible before the miniature human wakes again (anywhere between 1-4hrs later)
So you quickly have a wee, change sanitary towels and breast pads, grab a glass of water, check the room temperature, stare at the baby and feel a bit teary at how cute they are… then feel completely knackered with dry and itchy eyes and jump under the duvet. Dad is probably already snoring next to you at this point.

You lie there with your eyes shut (tight) thinking ‘I must sleep, I must sleep’ but next you is the worlds noisiest sleeper (& we don’t mean Daddy)

Babies make so many different types of noises whilst they are sleeping, here are a few that we have discovered:

Snuffles – snorts – hiccups – sighs – grunts – straining – gurgles – squeaks – weird little giggle noises – farts – hums – weird throat clearing noises….

PLUS – they have a habit of changing their breathing rates, sometimes they speed it up… sometimes they slow it down. This is what leads to new parents frantically turning on the light and checking baby is OK. They remain fast asleep during all of this, getting quality kip, whilst you are lying there, exhausted and unable to sleep through paranoia and been kept awake by the cute micro piggy in the cot next to you.

Just as you have nodded off….. the piggy wants feeding!

Welcome to Parenthood……